Closing out

I am back to work now, feeling much much better, and working on getting back to normal. While this blog was a wonderful way for me to communicate with friends and familiy, and also a great way for me to cope, I think it is time for me to close it out. I will be scanned up, down and sideways for a long time, but hope that the worst is behind me. Thanks to everyone so much for their support, love, food, and prayers.

Getting Better

Just a quick update to let people know that I am feeling pretty well, the PEG tube was removed, I am eating somewhat normally again, working part time and so forth. Still tired out, but that will take some time and also some exercise.

Thoughts on Recovery

I have not been updating this blog as much as usual, probably because I am now actually talking to friends, co-workers, local family, etc., but I will try to update for the long distance folks. Recovery is a slower and more tedious process than I had expected, in spite of so many people telling me that it would be slow. I am easing back into work, walking, visiting friends, etc. I am off all medications, although I think some of it is still working its way out of my system. I can eat more and more, although taste is still mediocre at best. The PEG tube will come out in a week. I am more than ready for that! On the other hand I feel in limbo, not quite well and strong, still spending way too much mental time and energy thinking about the "C" word. Follow up scans will be scheduled for mid July, and then more doctors appts to see how this all worked. It still feels scary. As far as I can tell this is a pretty normal trajectory and everyone has said to be kind to myself, so I will try. But of course I wish I had my old life back instantly. Along with just trying to get back to some semblance of normal, I sometimes have to laugh at the list of "things to do" such as acupuncture, yoga, meditation, prayer, guided imaging, therapy both individual and group, etc., etc. I am trying to pick and choose what works best for me. Cat therapy? PBS radio therapy? Soup therapy? Ah well...

Update

I haven't written in a while, possibly because I have been talking to lots of people, and I am so happy to be feeling better. I am now about 1 month post chemo and about 3 weeks post radiation. I am talking and starting to eat again, pretty much cream type soups, or pureed fruit, and also drinking those food supplements that are not too nasty to get down. Actually, once heated, they kind of taste like Ovaltine. I am still on a few medications that make me tired and a bit fuzzy-headed, so napping is still a necessity! But I think I may be off of them by the end of the next week or two. I know it takes a while to get energy back and I am doing my best to be patient. I am doing walks almost every day now, and a tiny bit of gardening, and I am going to ease back into a little bit of work, possibily as early as next week. Love to all!

Day by Day

I am happy to report that every day I am starting to feel a little bit better now. I can talk more, and even occasionally have been answering the phone, as some of you may know. I can swallow water and tea (yahoo!), and although I know the road back to eating normally will be slow, I know I will get there.

A few comments about being home during the day: While I have finally learned how to use the TV remote and the DVD player, I have also learned that there is nothing on TV during the day worth watching. I occasionally cruised the Chinese channels, which were fascinating. You can kind of tell what is going on even without the words, and the commercials are great! (I especially like the one about ginseng.) Network TV is mostly just commercials, half of which are for incredibly fattening food. The other half are for weight loss. What a racket! I do admit to watching "The View" a few times, and also I still love Jeopardy!

So, I have been reading, doing a lot of e-mailing, drawing, and working on a family tree project, which is about enough for me. I still rest and sleep a lot, and try to get outside at least once a day, even if it is just down to the mailbox or out to the garden. My wonderful neice and her family were in town and we had some nice, although short visits. Hope that the sun comes back to Berkeley soon!

Sojourn in the Wilderness: Shavuot and some statistics...

I started treatment on the first night of Passover.   Counting "peak week" (see below), today I should be "done" with treatment and on the road to recovery.   Today is also Shavout, commemorating the giving of the Ten Commandments, and everyone is supposed to read them.  (It doesn't take long, honest!)   Some of us also consider it the "blintzes" holiday, since we are to eat dairy.   (I will look forward to that soon!)  I don't want to push this too much, but I do feel like the past seven weeks have been spent lost in the desert, and sometimes it HAS felt like 40 years.   

Being the "green visor" type of person, here are some statistics from my sojourn in the wilderness:

0--amount of food consumed by mouth over the last week

1--week past my last radiation treatment

2--weeks past my last chemo treatment

2--jigsaw puzzles completed

3--Jane Austen books read (or listened to on tape)

4--care procedures I need to do at least once a day

8--number of prescription drugs I am now taking  (not counting non prescription stuff)

13-15--number of actual pills or related things I have to take every day.

21 -- times I have been poked with a needle for one reason or another 

24 -- incredible nurses/medical staff I have come in contact with.  (at least)

46--episodes of Sex and the City watched

Countless! -- the amazing amount of love and support I have received from all my family and friends.   Without all of you I am not sure how I would make it through this.

Priceless! -- Allen

     

Peak week

My last radiation treatment was Friday, May 22.   My doctors let us know that this week following the final treatment would be the toughest as the effects of radiation "peak."  I am mostly sleeping these days, taking pain meds, fighting nausea, and trying to keep enough fluids and calories in me so that I am not dehydrated.   I hope that by the end of this week every day will see at least a slight improvement.  I will write more as I can.