Thoughts on Recovery

I have not been updating this blog as much as usual, probably because I am now actually talking to friends, co-workers, local family, etc., but I will try to update for the long distance folks. Recovery is a slower and more tedious process than I had expected, in spite of so many people telling me that it would be slow. I am easing back into work, walking, visiting friends, etc. I am off all medications, although I think some of it is still working its way out of my system. I can eat more and more, although taste is still mediocre at best. The PEG tube will come out in a week. I am more than ready for that! On the other hand I feel in limbo, not quite well and strong, still spending way too much mental time and energy thinking about the "C" word. Follow up scans will be scheduled for mid July, and then more doctors appts to see how this all worked. It still feels scary. As far as I can tell this is a pretty normal trajectory and everyone has said to be kind to myself, so I will try. But of course I wish I had my old life back instantly. Along with just trying to get back to some semblance of normal, I sometimes have to laugh at the list of "things to do" such as acupuncture, yoga, meditation, prayer, guided imaging, therapy both individual and group, etc., etc. I am trying to pick and choose what works best for me. Cat therapy? PBS radio therapy? Soup therapy? Ah well...